Perfect
by CrazyRandomGirl
Summary: When Alice can't cope with life in England anymore she is desperate to find a way back to Wonderland... and to the Hatter. One shot. pretty bad description but it's better than it sounds!


**Perfect **

Well, I'm STILL writing my other Fanfic right now but I recently saw Alice in Wonderland went back to being crazy about it like I was as a child so I looked up Fanfics of it and REALLY began to like the AliceXHatter pairing. So yeah... I'm gonna make an attempt at something involving that! Also, this is partly inspired by the book: 'Through The Looking Glass' but only a little bit :) Enjoy :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything... if I DID then Alice in Wonderland would have a VERY different ending :)

**Alice's POV:**

I lay silently on my bed in my room in England staing up at the celling and letting my eyes absentmindedly follow the little cracks in the paint. I was bored, VERY bored and very lonely. Nobody here cared about what was on my mind. No one cared what I had to say. No one wanted to hear my stories about the magical land of Underland or Wonderland as I prefer to call it. That was all ok though. I'd rather just keep all my stories to myself, in my head, just for me to replay over and over again.

This doesn't help me at all though.

After originally forgetting everything about that magical world I was reminded of each little thing overtime. Firstly, I saw a blue butterfly, I'm not sure if it was him... but I could have sworn it was Absolem. That was the first memory that came back and gradually, while I was out on my journey to trade with far off countries, all of the memories came back.

I miss Wonderland more than you could ever imagine missing something. It's as though I've been taken away from my home and icolated in a strange and unfamiliar place. Call me crazy, but Underland IS my home. It's been a part of me since I was very small and I've dreamed of it every night since my first visit. I dream of the beautiful white palace with my good friend who just happenes to be the White Queen. I dream of Nivens McTwisp, the little white rabbit, leading me away down the hole back to where I belong. I dream of the insane March Hare, the doormouse and the Chessur cat with the widest smile I've ever seen. I dream of the Tweedles, the catapillar Absolem who turned into a butterfly, the evil Red Queen and the Knave of Hearts... but mostly, I dream of the Mad Hatter.

He was my best friend. I wished he was more than that. Everything about him was perfect for me. Nobody here understood me and they all thought I was insane but he was even more insane, by a long way, and he listened to me and understood me and just seeing him cheered me up instantly.

But none of that matters any more. I'll never see him ever again.

I felt as though I could scream at myself for being so stupid. How could I think that I would be able to find my way back to Wonderland after I left? Would it really have mattered if I had not returned to England? I'm sure everyone up here could have survived without me. Now, no matter how hard I try I can't get back and I do believe I've tried everything possible. I can't find my Jabberwocky blood, the rabbit hole I fell down after running away from Hamish's proposal no longer leads to Wonderland and it is instead just an ordinary rabbit hole. I've tried to search for another rabbit hole but I've never found the right one. I just want to get back there. I just want to go home.

I wonder if they're waiting for me down there? I wonder if... my eyes widened at the thought. Time moved differently there that was for sure and it liked to play tricks on people by speeding up, slowing down or even stopping altogether. I wonder if Hatter is waiting for me to return completely unaware that I never would. No matter how much I want to, no matter how much I try I can't.

I reached over to my bedside table and picked up a little book of poems. I had folded over the corners of the pages on all of the poems that reminded me of Wonderland. I flipped straight to the very first page I had folded the corner of and read the Jabberwocky poem inside my head. I couldn't help but remember how Hatter had recited it to me as we walked through the woods. I so clearly remember his voice saying every word I read from the page. I remember his Scottish accent coming through strongly in certin places. I could even remember the story he told me at that time, about how the Jabberwocky had destoryed so much and left him and the whole of Underland in ruins.

I couldn't take it anymore. I could actully hear him in my head. I needed to be hearing him for real, I needed to see him and be with him. I closed the book and flung it accross my bedroom as I let out a loud scream and burried my face in my pillow to muffle it slightly. I can't do this anymore. I can't live in this world that don't belong in.

My Mother came rushing in to see what all of the noise was about. She wasn't too shocked though as she was getting used to this kind of strange behaviour from me. She had no idea what had caused this though and no matter how much she tried to help she always ended up making it worse, especally when she tried to find me a husband. I don't blame her though. She doesn't know I'm already in love. I can't ever tell her. She wouldn't believe me anyway.

When she ran into my room I simply told her not to worry and that I had simply fallen asleep and had woken up screaming from a nasty nightmare. She believed it easily and left the room as that had been hapening alot lately, since I left Wonderland. The dreams get worse and worse and more and more vivid and every time I wake up I want to be asleep agian. They are not nightmares as such, in fact they are such perfect dreams that I only scream because I have woken up.

I got up and sat down at my dressing table. I looked in the mirror at the stranger staring back at me. I hadn't seen myself in so long and I didn't want to look at the person that broke the heart of the one she loves by leaving him. I examined the scabs going down my arms, thin, shallow scabs. The kind that can easily be made by a few quick movements of a kinfe. I managed to do that to myself last week after a particularly vivid dream of my Wonderland, of my Hatter. I woke up distraught that it had only been a dream and I had been set on killing myself because I couldn't get back to them. If I couldn't get back, what was the point in living? I couldn't kill myself though so all I did was make a few cuts. Just six shallow pathetic cuts that hardly even bled. Maybe I'm not brave enough or maybe I still have some faint hope of returning.

As I continued to stare at myself rage built up inside me. I felt like a liar. I promised him I'd be back. I felt like a dissapointment. Up here, my Mother was desperately trying to find me a Husband but I let her down every time by refusing to marry whatever handsome man she found for me. I felt like a fool. I'd let my need to be in Wonderland ruin me. Angrily I took a swing at my reflection with my right fist. My hand crashed in to the mirror, flinging shards of sharp glass back at me. Warm blood ran down my hand and all down my arm. I had multiple cuts from where the shards had hit me. I felt faint.

As I clutched my injured hand, holding in a scream of pain, something began to happen to the mirror. The part of it that was still intact began to ripple, so it seemed. Could this be a figment of my imagination due to dizziness the blood I was losing or was this real? The ripples stopped and a girl was staring back at me.. it was... me? But the background in the mirror was not my room and the girl was un-injured and happy. She was standing on a pathway in a beautiful woods. Wonderland.

The girl held her hand up to the mirror and smiled at me. I gave her a confused look. "It's time" she said. I didn't hesitate. I knew what she meant. It was time for all of my pain to end. It was time to go home. It was time.. for tea! I held up my bloody hand to hers and she held it tightly. I closed my eyes as I felt a very strange sensation of being stretched and spun at the same time. I was plunged into almost darkness with the most parculliar selection of objects swirling all around me. It felt almost as if I was falling down the rabbit hole again but I was falling... sideways? Isn't that impossible? '_Only if you believe it is'_ I heard a familliar voice in my head say. In fact, it was the same line I heard him say just before I battled the Jabberwocky. I closed my eyes and braced myself for any impact that might come. I didn't know if it would as I was going sideways after all. However, I did not hit the ground and before I knew it I was standing in the woods that the girl who was me, but at the same time wasn't, had been standing in and the mirror and my bedroom had vanished entirely.

I looked around and behind me I saw a small pathway amoungst the trees. My heart skipped a beat. I knew where this lead to: the mad tea party! Suddenly I remembered the severe injury to my hand. My gosh I was loosing alot of blood! My entire arm was covered in the thick, dark red liquid and I began to feel extremely dizzy at the sight. It finally hit me. If something wasn't done soon I would be in serious trouble. I thought about calling for help but when I tried my voice came out quiet and shakey as I was beginning to panic. I made a run for the pathway between the trees but before I could quite make it my legs gave out underneath me, I was too weak to continue and I was loosing too much blood. I looked once again at my hand and my arm, both covered in more blood than ever before. Seeing it was just too much. I felt even dizzier and eventually... everything went black.

My eyes began to open to see an incredebly white light. Could I be dead?

I heard a woman speaking in a kind and soft tone. "Alice, dear" she said, "I hope you're feeling ok. You had quite a nasty injury but you're all fixed up now and we're all very glad to have you back". I began to focus a little bit better. I saw a beautiful woman standing over me with dark lips, pale skin and long, pale blonde hair. I smiled almost as wide as the Chessur cat. I'd finally done it! I wasn't dead, I was in the White Queen's palace. I was home. I was back in Wonderland! I sat bolt upright and flung my arms around the woman, the White Queen, my good friend. "Mirana!" I exclaimed, calling her by her first name. Even though she was a Queen I knew she didn't mind.

"Yes, it's me" she replied with a laugh, "I'm sorry about your injury by the way. Getting to and from Underland can be a very tricky thing you know! It's just such a shame you had to come back one of the hardest ways possible!".

"It's ok" I assured her, "as long as I'm back". I released her from the hug and she smiled back at me sweetly.

"Mirana, would you happen to know where Tarrant is?" I asked her, using the Hatters real name.

"Yes, of course" she replied, "he was actually the one who brought you to me. You collapsed just a short way from his tea table and when he found you he brought you straight here for medical attention. He's wating just outside this room. He seemed very worried about you so if you're feeling ok it would probably be best for you to go and assure him that you are fine".

Even though it would have been the polite thing to do to reply I simply couldn't contain my excitement and I jumped up and ran out of the room. I turned the corner to see a man facing the wall on the opposite side of the corridor, not moving a muscle. He wore mismatched clothes and a big top hat which his crazy orange hair stuck out from underneath. His pale skin fitted well with the walls of the castle and his eyes were a very dull shade of green. I'd never seen those eyes look so lifeless before. This was the Mad Hatter, MY Hatter, and it looked as though he'd missed me.

I took a deep breath and walked a little bit closer to him. "Sorry I'm so terribly late" I said, tring to make a bit of an entrance. "but, you know me so well and you should know that I'm never early" I continued.

He turned to face me and his eyes lit up to their normal, vibrent green.

"Alice!" he exclaimed in joy, "you're back, you're ok, are you staying? How did you get here? What took you so long? Wha-"

"Hatter" I said with a laugh.

"What- how-... I'm fine. Sorry" he apologised. He then came closer to me and with a look on his face more serious than I had ever seen on him before. "I really missed you Alice" he said, looking deep into my eyes, "you were so long... I thought you were never coming back. I thought you'd forgotten me".

"I was trying to find my way back" I replied, "I couldn't get here though. I tried everthing Hatter, I really did, but I didn't stop thinking about you the whole time. I dreamed every night about seeing you and when I woke up and you weren't there I didn't know how much longer I could stand a life that you weren't in. I could never forget you". I cleverly left out that for a while I HAD forgotten him, though it wasn't long until the memory came back.

I had no idea where all of this sudden courage was coming from. I was pouring my heart out to him and I was loving every second of it for as I said each word his smile grew more and more. That insane yet loving smile that showed the small gap between his teeth. How I love that smile. Before I knew it he was leaning closer to me.

"Alice" he said.

"Yes?" I replied.

"I've missed you more than you could imagine and..." he broke of his sentene there as he closed the small gap between us by pressing his lips against mine. I had never felt so happy, so complete, so safe, so amazing. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him even closer getting as much as I could out of the kiss and making sure he knew that I wasn't ready to let go, not now, and if I had a choice, not ever. However, everyone needs to breathe so eventually it was me that ended up breaking us apart.

"...I've been wanting to do that since before you left" he said, finishing the sentence he had started but I had long forgotten about. I brought my hand up to his face, caressing it gently.

"I love you Tarrant" I said before kissing him quickly and gently on the lips.

"I love you too Alice" he replied, "please tell me that you're staying this time".

"Of course I am" I said with a small laugh, "what could I possibly have up there that I don't have down here?".

"Well" he began, "you have your family, your friends, your job, y-"

"Listen" I cut in, "I may have all of that up there but ,when I'm in England, I don't have you. Thats all I want".

He then smiled the widest smile I had ever seen on him. Then, without warning he kissed me so passionatly I was almost knocked off my feet. I regained my balance and kissed him back.

Finally, I was home, I was with my love and everything was... perfect.

* * *

There you go, just a little spur of the moment one shot. Hope you liked it! Reveiw please... it makes me sooooooo happy! :D


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